you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
