He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
