And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
foreskin is a definite game changer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
