Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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