Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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