Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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