Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
