White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
