so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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