yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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