paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
