Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
