So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
