P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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