Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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