dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
PANTIES FOUND
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