Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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