if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
