If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
