Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
