Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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