You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
