I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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