The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
