Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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