i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
