In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
