let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
