$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
