R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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