im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
