I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
