That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
