ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
