a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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