Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
