On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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