I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
