He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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