so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
