Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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