i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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