I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
