i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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