At least make sure they are 18
Why
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
