I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
