Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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