you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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