yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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