from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bring money and cleavage
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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