I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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